


But now I am here!

by gedankenspaziergang, nir77tak



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-17 01:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21046031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gedankenspaziergang/pseuds/gedankenspaziergang, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nir77tak/pseuds/nir77tak
Summary: David runs away after being outed. Matteo finds him the same day.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Notes from the translator:  
I've never translated any fiction so I hope this is readable. If you find any mistakes due to the translation (grammar, spelling etc) please tell me I want to learn! (NOT for the plot/ storytelling etc)  
hope you enjoy <3

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

These were the last words he heard from David, the last contact he had. Matteo knew the feeling of not wanting to see or hear from anyone too well. But this was the first time for him being on the other end of it and he already hated it.

He could only begin to imagine how miserable David must be feeling right now and what he was able to come up with was bad enough. That’s why he was scared shitless for David. All of his calls and messages pointed to him having turned his phone off, so he made his way to David’s apartment.

Of course, he knew all too well how good it felt to close out all media but fuck, he had so much to say to David and above all he didn’t want him to be alone.

When he arrived at David’s he rang the bell without hesitation, so shortly after he was facing David’s sister.

“David isn’t home, didn’t you two plan to spend the day together?”

Matteo shook his head. “Something happened”, he whispered and passed his phone to Laura.

“Fuck that can’t be happening”, she cried out after watching the video. She thrust his phone back at Matteo and went to the kitchen to grab her own.

Matteo followed her.

„That’s what I’ve been doing the whole time, he doesn’t pick up” he whispered, biting at his fingernails.

“David, please answer…Matteo is here, and we’re worried. Please call one of us, please!” Laura pleaded on his voicemail.

“SHIT” she yelled and tore at her hair. “Not again, not this whole shitshow again”

“I think maybe it’s not AS bad?” Matteo mumbled.

“NOT AS BAD?!?!?!”, Laura snapped “Do you have any idea? What do you think, how easy a transition is?”

Matteo lowered his gaze. He hated being misunderstood because he couldn’t express himself the way he wanted to, when his words came out all wrong. A reason why he rather stays silent most of the time. He saw it with his parents often enough, how communication destroyed things rather than fix them – how words are used to either hurt someone or are turned around again and again until they were hurtful all of a sudden.

But this was about David and it was important for him that Laura understood that he didn’t want to belittle the situation or make a joke out of it.

“What I meant is that David is probably scared that everyone will laugh at him or bully him but so far everyone in the chat was angry at the teacher…not David…and to be honest, even if that were the case- he has one more stupid exam left, after that he never has to see those assholes again.”

“You don’t understand – he had to go through a lot of shit at his other school.” Matteo nodded. “I can imagine.“

„I don’t think you can imagine that.“

Matteo nodded again. „Okay well“, he grumbled, „so I don’t understand and I can’t imagine… but that’s not the point right now. We have to find David!”

„Yeah, you’re right.“

Laura took a seat on the kitchen chair and started calling someone. Matteo sat opposite of her but could only hear „…call you? No? Okay thanks, if he does then tell me, okay?!“

After three of those calls she put her phone down on the table and buried her face in her hands. 

„That’s it?“, Matteo asked, bewildered.

„It’s not like he has many friends“, Laura sighed.

“FUCK“

„He is probably hiding somewhere“, Laura thought out loud, „at this point we can only wait for him to call or message us, as bad as that is.”

“Hiding somewhere?!“, Matteo leaped up. “I have an idea“, he exclaimed and ran towards door.

“Call me!“, Laura managed to call out before the door was slammed shut.


	2. Chapter 2

He had to be here. He just had to! 

Matteo only stopped once to buy some things. Then he drove straight to the abandoned pool.  After he’d struggled over the fence and made it through the basement he was finally standing in the big room and could look directly in the pool.

There, sitting close to the wall with his legs pulled tight to him, arms wrapped around his knees, David was.

Matteo sighed, relieved, and smiled cautiously when David saw him.

But his stomach tightened when he saw that David pressed closer to the wall as if he was trying to make himself smaller.

Matteo climbed down the stairs into the pool and carefully walked towards David. He tried to appear calm, even though he felt nauseous. 

With a causal „na“, he sat down next to David.

“What are you doing here?” David demanded disbelievingly.

“I was looking for you?! I’m gonna text your sister real quick that I found you, okay? She’s worried about you.”

David nodded shakily.  “I would’ve gone home sooner or later” he grumbled “I just wanted to be alone”.

Matteo nodded. “I get it.”

“Ja? If you ‘get it’ then why are you here?”

“Because hiding and being alone sometimes makes it worse, believe me I know what I’m talking about.”

David just shrugged.

“So? Did being alone make it better? Do you want me to go?” Matteo asked carefully. It took some time until David finally whispered a quiet “No”.

Matteo nodded knowingly. He reached into his coat pocket and took out a bag. “I thought…maybe, if you’re hungry…a sandwich… with ham and cheese”, he proposed quietly and tried to pass it to David.

David shook his head no.

“Ah I get it, not without whipped cream, huh?” Matteo tried to joke and seemed to succeed as the corner of David’s mouth lifted, if only for a few seconds.

He put the bag on the floor and pulled a small bottle of water out of his coat pocket.

“Something to drink at least?”

David nodded and reached for the bottle.  After drinking, he put it back down next to the bag of sandwiches.

“Why are you here?” David asked once again, this time less aggressive.

“Because you shouldn’t be alone. I know you are imagining the worst scenario possible and I don’t know how bad it already was for you but there are not just enemies out there! What happened was the worst thing possible, but this is not the end and I don’t want you thinking or feeling like it is.”

David snorted and got up.

“You think this time they won’t stare at me as if I was the most disgusting thing they ever saw? They won’t ask how I take a piss or have sex or what I have between my legs?”  Full of anger he punched the wall of the pool, tears making their way down his face.

Matteo stood up slowly and swallowed.  „That’s fucked up“, he whispered.

David nodded and turned to Matteo.  “Yeah tell me about it“, he agreed, exhausted from everything that happened, wiping away his tears.

“IT SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKSSS”, Matteo yelled, listening to the echo in the empty pool.

David burst out laughing, surprised.

“THOSE GODDAMN ASSHOLES”, he shouted himself.

“FUCKING IDIOTS” Matteo countered and looked at David in a challenge.

David spread his arms and, prompted by Matteo, yelled more curses into the empty pool before he let himself drop back to the floor, exhausted and strangely relieved.

Matteo sat down next to him, moving close to David.

„Thanks“, David whispered and reached for the water bottle to chug the rest of what was left. 

Matteo only nodded.

“To answer your question…no I don’t know if there are some idiots who are going to behave exactly that. To be honest, probably yes. But even if every single person out there is an idiot – fuck them! After that exam you never have to set a foot in the school again. And now I am here…and my squad, and we’re not going to leave you alone in this.”

“Your friends are nice.“

„Yeah…nice… and a bit crazy, but whatever. What I want to say: you’re so cool, everyone thinks you’re an amazing guy. My squad is your squad, really, they are so worried about you and want to help. Not necessarily well or constructive, but no one even hesitated for a second to offer their help.”

“Really?!”

„Yes really, you don’t have to hide and if you want, you don’t have to go through all of this alone. I want to be there for you, if you let me.”

David stared at him in disbelieve.

Matteo ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more.

„Look, I am so sorry for taking so long to message you. But there was so much that I wanted to know before I talked to you and I had to clear some things up for myself and…”

“I get it”, David mumbled.

“NO!” Matteo protested but continued more calmly, “this time it’s you who doesn’t understand. It’s not easy for me, okay?! I am not good at these things. I am not good at finding the right words and then it comes out all wrong and I hurt you even more – and there are so many traps and wrong phrases and I didn’t want to…I didn’t want you running away from me again. Which is a bit ironic, huh? Now I waited so long, that you ran away again. I wanted to tell you so much earlier today, I almost had a whole presentation and everything…”

“A presentation…?”

Matteo sighed with a sheepish grin.

“Ja dude, I’m a pro now, you know? If you have any questions concerning transitioning, be it medically, legally, or psychological effects, just ask me. I’m a walking library. Binder, packer, injections or gel…toys… god David, there are so many things…and I know EVERY trans YouTuber, no shit. Some are really cool and I learned a lot from them.”

David frowned and shook his head.

„But...why would you do all that?”

Matteo tilted his head and felt himself blushing.

„Well uhm, I didn’t want to be that guy who asks stupid questions. And believe me, in the beginning I had a lot of really stupid questions and thoughts. I just came out to myself as gay and then there was you and I was confused what that would mean for me. I thought that this couldn’t work, but that’s bullshit, right? I am gay, you’re a guy and I’m into you. I just worried about so much, about sex and other things, but that’s not what a relationship is about at all…I like YOU and it’s beautiful when we’re together. I can be myself when I’m with you, you just get me. And it’s not like there is only one way to have sex. I mean as a couple you have to find what feels good and what doesn’t anyways…and it’s not like I am already set on what I like, actually not at all…”

Matteo stopped and lowered his gaze.

He bit his lip and carefully glanced at David, who just looked at him with wide eyes.

“So, to summarize and kinda like the conclusion of my presentation”, Matteo mumbled and looked back at the floor, „iloveyou“.

David shook his head, tried to say something but couldn’t bring himself to say a word. He just looked disbelievingly at Matteo.

Matteo raised his head with a shy smile.

“I love you too“, David whispered and carefully put his hand on Matteo’s cheek, before kissing him gently.

Matteo sighed, relieved, and kissed back carefully.

For a while they just let their lips meet in little pecks, but then Matteo slowly let his tongue touch David’s lower lip.

He felt David’s grin when he pulled him closer.

When David’s stomach grumbled loudly, Matteo let go of him with a chuckle, “Sandwich?” he tried again, and this time David nodded.

Cuddled together they shared the sandwich and enjoyed the company of each other in silence.

David wrinkled his nose and pet his belly. “I think that sandwich wasn’t enough“, he admitted. 

“We could get a kebab?”

„I don’t want to go out there.”

“Come on, there’s food out there and I won’t leave you alone, okay?”

David shrugged.

„We could go to my place…no ulterior motive, I swear”, Matteo tried to appease, holding up his hands. “I just want to…just want to be with you”, he continued quietly.

“Me too”, David whispered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:  
thank you for your Kudos:)  
next chapter is going up tomorrow  
greetings, Katrin
> 
> Translator's note:  
the hardest part was to translate the cursing lol i did not expect that   
hope you enjoy <3


	3. 3

Matteo looked around his room nervously. They eventually made it out of their hide-out and ate a kebab on their way before coming back to Matteo’s room.

„We could“, he started and messed up his hair with his hands “watch a movie?”

“kay“

Matteo nodded and got his laptop. He sat down on his bed and leaned back on the wall. After hesitating for a second, David sat down next to him, even moved close to him.

“Something funny, please”, he said quietly.

Matteo looked for a movie and pressed play after David had nodded his agreement.

For a while they sat next to each other rigidly, then Matteo leaned his head on David’s shoulder and shuffled until he was comfy. David smiled, leaned even closer to Matteo and put his arm around him.

==

„I think I’ll go home…“

Matteo opened his eyes and jerked his head up.

“What?! No“

„You fell asleep on my shoulder and it’s gotten really late. I’ll head home.“

„Please stay.“ Matteo bit his lip. That came out way more needy and desperate than he wanted it to. But fuck, he really didn’t want David to leave.  
David pulled up his shoulders and mumbled „I don’t know.“

Matteo ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, that’s exactly why I don’t want you to go. You’ll lock yourself in your room, overthink everything and message me that it’s not going to work out with us and then we’re back at the start.”

David lowered his gaze.

“Or are you scared that I can’t keep my fingers to myself? I can, I swear!”

„Maybe I don’t want you to keep your fingers to yourself?”, David whispered but kept his gaze down, „maybe I’m scared that you realize that all of your oh so great new knowledge is good in theory…but you’ll realize, that…”  
  
„SHHHHHH!“, Matteo interrupted. „I was asleep for quite some time, huh?

“Like half of the movie, but…”

“Sounds like you don’t need your own bed to overthink and start to spiral.”

“No, I can do that here as well.“ David shrugged. “I’m sorry“, he whispered and left through the door without turning back.

Matteo grabbed his pillow and threw it against the door. FUCK! Not again.

They really were back where they started and he didn’t have any goddamn idea how to leave that vicious cycle.

  
Something made him sit up.

No, not a sound…more like the absence of one.

Did he hear the door close? Okay if David snuck out, he must’ve closed it quietly, but maybe…

In that moment the door to his room was slammed open. David walked in determinedly and shut it with another slam.

Matteo didn’t dare to move when David pulled his sweater over his head and let it fall to the floor, followed by his shirt.   
  
He looked at Matteo, as if challenging him, when he said resolutely: “That’s a binder!”. He pointed at the top he was still wearing.

„I know“

„And I can’t sleep in it without it hurting like hell tomorrow. Believe me, I did try.”

“When you slept here last time.”

“Yes…but I can’t just not wear it, because…I just can’t…” David took a deep frustrated breath and got his shirt to put it back on.

Matteo bit at his lower lip and tried to catch David’s gaze.

“We’ll think of something, okay?“

David just lifted his eyebrows and shook his head in a question.

Matteo walked to his closet, searched for something before nodding, content with what he found.   
“How about I’ll get you a toothbrush and a towel and you get ready in the bathroom. While you do that, I’ll look for a shirt – dark, long and loose, okay?”

David nodded cautiously.

„Then I’ll go to the bathroom, you can change in here, go to bed and turn off the light. I can find my bed in the dark, no problem.” Matteo looked at David pleadingly.

„‘kay“, he whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”  
  
==

Matteo padded towards his bed carefully and smiled when David lifted the blanket. He climbed in and felt around for David’s hand, to lightly squeeze it. David squeezed back and turned to lay on his side.

Matteo moved closer to him. “Can I?”, he asked before putting his arm around David.

“Yes”

Matteo cuddled close to him, nuzzling at his hair, getting comfy.

Though, David didn’t seem to be able to relax. Matteo caressed David’s arm with his thumb and heard David breathe out shakingly. 

“What can I do?”, Matteo quietly asked.

“You already do so much.”

“Purely selfish reasons. You know I don’t like being alone.”

David giggled and snuggled closer to Matteo this time relaxing into his embrace.

“It’s really nice that you stayed.”

“I don’t want to run away again, I can’t promise anything, but I want to stop running!”

David slowly turned around to face Matteo and fondly caressed his cheek. “And I want it to work out with us, I really do.”

“ Yeah, me too”, Matteo agreed.

“And I really don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself”, David murmured and rolled over so he could kiss Matteo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:  
Thank you for your Kudos and comments, I really appreciate them! Btw, I am skipping some things here, if you know what I mean- Some things stay between Matteo and David;)  
All the best, Katrin


	4. Chapter 4

When Matteo woke up the next morning, he couldn’t stop grinning.

“Penny for your thoughts?“, David whispered while looking at him with a similar but sleepy grin.

“Damn happy that you’re still here.”

David looked down with a sheepish frown, but Matteo kissed his cheek. “I could get used to that.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

David rested his head on Matteo’s shoulder. „You still don’t have any questions?”.

“I don’t know. No, not right now. Not that I think that it’s not important but right now I’d rather get to know other things about you.”

“Like?“

„Like how you drink your coffee for example.”

David shook his head and chuckled in surprise. „A bit of milk and a spoonful of sugar…”

“Cheese? Ham? Jelly?

„Yes to the cheese, lots and the older the better. Ham either, raw or smoked. Not a big fan of sweet breakfast…though a bit of jelly with camembert on some bread….”

“Ew…tzatziki or hollandaise as pizza topping?”

David wrinkled his nose. „Uhm? Neither?! Who would want to eat that?!“

„Tzaziki, me and Abdi the hollandaise“

„You’re disgusting!“

„You’re disgusting!“, Matteo grumbled and reached out to tug on David’s hair. David tried to defend himself and they started playfighting, which lead to kissing, which lead to making out.   
  
„Luiiiiiiigiiiii? Breaaaakfast“, Jonas called out and slammed Matteo’s door open. “Oh”, he laughed surprised when he saw the two making out on the bed but caught himself immediately and yelled over his shoulder “he is up and David is here as well”.

He looked back to the bed and grinned at Matteo’s annoyed glare and David’s hiding himself under the covers.

“La familia in the living room…NOW!”, he ordered, and winked before closing the door on his way out.

“Fuck!“, Matteo complained and started to get up. „You don’t have to come I’ll just say that you had to go home.”

“Why are they all here?“

Matteo shrugged. „Probably for you…but you still don’t have to face all that if you don’t want to.”

David had to swallow, then nodded. „I think…I think I want to. Give me a few minutes okay?” His gaze lingered at his clothes, which he had put on Matteo’s desk chair the night before.

“Of course“, Matteo answered, gave David a quick kiss on his forehead and went to throw on some clothes. “I’ll go now and you can come when you’re ready, okay?“

-  
  
Matteo had to shake his head at the sight of all his friends gathered together in his living room. On the living room table was a giant breakfast buffet. It looked like everyone brought something.

Jonas handed him a cup of coffee and a bun with salami. Matteo smiled in appreciation and sat down on the floor.

  
„David?“, Jonas asked him quietly and pointed to the table.

„Milk and a spoonful of sugar, cheese for the bun…”, Matteo ordered, smiling.

„We’re here for David“, Kiki said and the others nodded affirmatively.

“There has to be a way we can help!”, Jonas said resolutely, while cutting the bun for David in half.

“Neuhaus can’t think he can just pull off something like that!“ Carlos exclaimed and raised his fist in the air.

„We can do a demonstration in front of the teachers‘ lounge” Hanna proposed.

“We can cut his tires!”, Abdi called out.

“Idiot”, Carlos chastised him with a fond eyeroll.

“Okay, then we’ll make a sign that says: ‘David has more balls than Neuhaus ever will’…”, Abdi pondered.

“He does”, David said, with a small grin and nodded in greeting before he sat down close to Matteo, who immediately put his hand reassuringly on David’s knee.

Everyone chuckled at David’s joke, only Abdi frowned, looking at Carlos in question.

“I’ll explain later”, Carlos said to him.

Jonas handed David a cup of coffee and a plate with a bun and cheese.

“Thanks”, David said. Touched by all the support he had to clear his throat before continuing, “it’s great that you all are here to help me”, he began.

“Normal, dude!”, Carlos whooped.

“Normaaaaal”, Abdi echoed, and the others nodded affirmatively.

“But…”, David took a shaky breath and Matteo squeezed his knee “but, I don’t really want that, at least not like this.”, David dared to say.

At first, there was a sheepish silence, but then Jonas nodded. “Okay, it’s your life, so your way.”

“Thanks”

“What do you want to do?”

“I’ll try to get some legal counseling. There’s this forum for trans men and I have something like a mentor there. I’ll ask him for advice. Then I’ll ask the headmaster for a meeting on Monday. You know, Neuhaus didn’t have any bad intentions, he just wanted me to get a better grade. It was dumb but not meant in a transphobic way. Maybe I can write a statement that says something like ‘I know that I might get a worse grade if I am graded correctly - as a boy- but that I accept that’…”

Jonas nodded contemplatively. “Sounds like a plan. Do you want to take someone with you to meet the headmaster?”.

David shrugged. “I think I don’t. I don’t want to go in there all aggressive and in confrontation mode. I just want to make it clear to them, that my grade isn’t important, it’s important to be DAVID. If that’s not enough I have to think about how to continue, maybe get a lawyer or something like that, I don’t know. But I hope that we can solve this quickly and peaceful.”

Everyone nodded in understanding.

„But I can walk with you to school?”, Matteo asked quietly.

“Yes”, David whispered, „you can come with me to the secretary’s office and maybe wait there?”

Matteo smiled and gave him a gentle kiss.

Sam squealed so excitedly that David blushed. Embarrassed, he leaned back and took a sip of his coffee.

“Okay“, Jonas decided „if that’s settled we can talk about the Abi-Prank, right?”

When everyone started to shout their ideas at each other, Matteo leaned into David who just observed the group silently while eating his bun.

“Everything okay?“, Matteo asked in a whisper. David just nodded, smiling.   


==

A few hours passed until the last of the group left the WG. David and Matteo were in the kitchen, cleaning up the rest.

“Are you okay?”, Matteo asked.

David nodded. “Yeah, it feels nice to have so many people support you, I’m not used to it, but it feels really good.”

“I told you everyone wants to be part of your gang, ‘cause you’re so cool!”

David snorted, „just because they know that I’m with you.”

„Don’t underestimate yourself, they want you as their leader.“

„I’m not planning on taking Jonas’ place.”

Matteo lowered his gaze and suddenly was very focused on drying the dishes. “You already did.”, he mumbled.

When David only looked at him in question, Matteo continued: “I used to like him.”

David grinned. “I get it, he’s a cool dude.”

Matteo looked back at him with a sheepish smile. “It feels like that was ages ago though. At least since you showed up at the party…or actually, I think it was even earlier…”

“That reminds me”, David teases, coming closer to Matteo, “this place still owes us something!”

“It does?”, Matteo asked with a sly grin and came even closer to David to kiss him – this time without any interruptions.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:   
I always struggle to find a good ending point - but I think from here they can manage on their own...well at least they have each other now:). David will take his exam and get graded correctly and have a huge abi party with his new friends:). I loved reading your comments and getting kudos, maybe we'll see each other again.   
Take care, Katrin
> 
> Translator's note:  
For some reason I really struggled with this chapter but I can't wait longer so this has to do. I hope you enjoyed reading this in english as much as I enjoyed reading it in German:) Don't forget to leave a comment on the original work <3

**Author's Note:**

> hop over to the original [the original](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921624/chapters/49736483#workskin) and leave a nice comment! :)


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